


Saving Grace

by BrokenHalos



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel's Loss of Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Dies, Episode: s15e13 Destiny's Child, Fluff, Guilt, Happy Ending, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Gore, Miscommunication, Newly Human Castiel (Supernatural), Resurrection, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Sexual Tension, Smut, Swearing, Temporary Character Death, Tie Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23327770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenHalos/pseuds/BrokenHalos
Summary: Dean has seen Castiel die too many times, this is set after season 15 episode 3.During a hunt something goes wrong and Castiel does the only thing he could think of to save Dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89





	1. Forgiveness

Dean stared mournfully at Jack who was breaking down, begging for forgiveness. He wanted to say it was ok, he wanted to tell him that he was forgiven but that angry little voice in the back of his head; the one that had always been there said no. 

It had said no to many things in his life, including happiness, love and sorrow. It made him feel like he was strong and stoic but sometimes all but human. He needed to be strong for his family.

He glanced towards Castiel, although the angel's plan had worked he was still angry. He never consulted Sam or Dean before temporarily dying, who the hell gave him the right? This would bug Dean for a few days to come, maybe a bit of cold shoulder would set Cas right. 

He left the kitchen and headed straight for his room. Yes they were one step closer to defeating God, Jack had his soul back and Cas was not dead...but something always bad happens, it was the Winchesters luck. 

He flopped face down onto his bed and tried to succumb to sleep. Not ten minutes later does he hear a knocking on his door.

"Mmmpf come in." He says, the pillow muffling his voice. Castiel stepped through the door, oh he really didn't want to deal with him right now.

"What?" He asked a bit too harshly, Castiel flinched at his tone. "I wanted to check if you were angry at me for doing the right thing, evidently you still are. Goodbye Dean." 

"Cas wait." He got up from his position on the bed. "I'm not- I'm not mad, I was just worried." Castiel turned back to him and Dean moved closer. "Look. See it from my perspective man! I thought I had lost you again." Dean gripped the sleeve of his friends tan trench coat. "I...I can't loose you." He felt the tears but he pushed them back. "And you did good, you did so good." He thumbed the soft material. 

"Dean I understand it was distressing but it had to be done." He looked Dean in the eye. "Yeah...but you know we need you right?" Without any warning Dean pulls Cas into a crushing hug. "Promise you'll never leave me." He whispers in his ear. Castiel returned the hug, resting his chin on Deans shoulder, the whisper sends chills down his spine. Dean brings his hand up to stroke the back of his head. "I promise." He barely manages before Dean releases him. There was no manly back patting, no awkwardness or the feeling to push back too soon. 

Although Dean loosened his grip he still remained a breath away. Castiel wanted to make a joke about personal space but the moment had him silenced. 

Dean maintained eye contact, his face only inches away from his own. 

Was Dean going to kiss him? After all this time. 

Dean's eyes flick down to Castiel's lips and then he licks his own. Castiel felt the hand in his hair tighten and he wanted this more than anything. 

But then it hit him, this relationship couldn't possibly progress into something romantic. Because that would make him happy and if he was happy...

Deans lips bumped his and it sent shockwaves throughout his entire body. It would be so easy to continue, to fall into bed with one another after years of repressed sexual tension, to feel every inch of each others skin as they explored what made them both gasp and shudder in ecstacy.

But then he would be taken away, he was still needed no matter how useless he was told he was. Jack needed him, Dean needed him, even Sam.

He heard Dean let out a whine as Castiel's hands involuntarily gripped at his sides. 

Castiel closed his eyes, desperately telling his mind to pull back before it went too far. 

"I can't." He says against Dean's lips. It is weak and he doesn't want to mean it. "Dean I can't...please." He says again as he pushes Dean away.

"Cas?"

"Goodnight Dean." He says before he turns and exits the bedroom. 

Dean is left there, standing still, hurt and confusion radiating off the hunter.


	2. Wendigo

They shouldn't have gone on that hunt.

The body of a scorched, decapitated wendigo lay a few feet away from a pool of blood, Deans blood.

It had started out as a normal case, they had left Jack at the bunker to make sure he was ready for his fight with God.

Sam, Dean and Castiel ventured into the dark woods. 

They should have been more prepared, they should had been more careful.

Sam hears his brother's cry of pain just after he kills the second Wendigo, there was a total of four. 

He rushes over to see Dean on the floor with a massive bloody gash in his chest, he was positive that it went right through. Castiel is there too after smiting the Wendigo with a righteous fury. 

"Dean!" Sam yelled, attempting to keep his brother conscious, how the hell did it get the drop on him? 

He heard the growl of the last Wendigo and got up to fight.

Castiel cradled Dean's face in his lap. "No vital organs have been punctured but you will bleed out if we don't get you to a hospital." Dean didn't respond, he was out cold. Castiel didn't have enough grace to heal him, he had used most of it fighting off the monsters, it always replenished but slower each time.

He felt the pull of Dean's soul trying to leave his body. "No." He growled. "You will not." His eyes igniting with blue.

Sam was still fighting off the Wendigo, there was no chance that Dean would get to a hospital on time...no chance he would survive. 

"Dean please." He begged as the pull was stronger now. Dean was going to die and there was nothing he could do.

Then it happened, Dean was gone. 

The barrier finally snapped and his soul left his body. In a moment of panic Castiel left his body and his true form wrapped around Dean's fleeting soul. 

He pulled it back to the empty vessel and locked it inside with his grace, using it all to bring Dean back to life.

He returned to his own vessel. 

It was done now, there was no going back. 

He healed Dean's wounds and waited for him to wake up as the last flicker of his grace died out. 

Castiel was human.

Shit shit shit were his last coherent thoughts before he collapsed. 

Sam rushed over to his brother and Cas as Dean came to.

"Dude what the hell happened?" He groaned clutching his midsection where the wound used to be.

"You died Dean, don't you remember? Cas...Cas brought you back." He motioned to Castiel's unconscious form.

Dean shook his shoulder but Castiel didn't respond. "Cas! Cas." He said. "Cas get up man come on please."

Castiel lay there unmoving. "You promised." He whispered.

Castiel's eyes flickered open and he stared up at Dean. "Dean you're ok." 

"I'm ok? Man what were you thinking?" He scolded. 

"I was saving your life, it worked." He said getting up. "Unfortunately I am human now."

"Wait. You're human now?" Dean questioned.

A wave of dread past through him. "I understand that I am no longer needed so I will leave the bunker as possible."

"What? You're just gonna leave us?" He yelled. 

Castiel averted his eyes. "I thought-" He tried.

"You thought wrong!" Dean growled as he grabbed Castiel's coat. "You think I'm just gonna let you walk out on me again?" 

"To be fair, last time-" He tried to retort but Dean kept interrupting. 

"Yeah well this ain't gonna be like last time, you belong in the bunker with m- us." He quickly stopped himself. 

The drive back home was tense. 

"Since you're a regular Joe now Cas, you're gonna need clothes and stuff." He turned into the parking garage of a large mall.

Inside was bright lights and people pushing and shoving their way to items they had no need for. "Sam you get toothbrushes, deodorant and hair products me 'n Cas are getting him clothes, meet back here in half an hour. Got it?" 

About twenty minutes of going through flannel Castiel had picked out: two red ones, a black one, a blue one and four black shirts.

Dean found him three pairs of dark blue denim jeans that showed off his great ass. 

"Is it necessary for me to wear so much flannel?" He says as Dean chucks a pack of boxers in their shopping cart. "It's the hunters uniform Cas. So yeah not wearing flannel is a dealbreaker." He joked. 

Castiel sighed, it was like Dean was pretending the kiss had never happened. Was it for the best? Would it make things less complicated? Who knows?

Did it hurt? Yes.

Castiel gave him a confused look and went back to staring at some bee socks.

Soon enough everything was paid for and they were on their way back to the bunker.  
Castiel had fallen asleep in the back of the impala, Dean kept checking on him from rearview mirror. 

"Dean it's been a long night, we still have a few hours to go. Why don't you let me drive? You should get some sleep." Sam said from beside him. 

Dean didn't put up much of a fight and stopped the car. He slid out of the drivers seat and into the back with Cas.

He looked so peaceful, he hadn't seen him like that in well ever. He took off his own jacket and covered the other man with it. 

"Dean?" Apparantly Castiel wakes up at the slightest of movement. "Just me, go back to sleep Cas." Castiel rested his head on Dean's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Dean hadn't forgotten about the kiss, hell it was all he could think about. But he knew in that moment his friend needed comfort, so he pushed his self hatred aside.

The truth was Dean was hurt, he felt rejected. But that didn't matter for now because Castiel was here, was human.

Because of him.

He wrapped an arm around Castiel so the fallen angel was pressed against his side and he put his head on Castiel's while drifting off to sleep.

"Wake up lovebirds, we are here." Sam's amused tone mixed with the slamming of a door jolted them both awake. 

Dean exited the back of the car leaving Cas to still regain consciousness.

Once inside Castiel went straight to the room that the Winchesters had allocated him. Sleeping and dreaming again felt weird. 

He also knew this was permanent, he had given up his grace for Dean with no way to recover it. But Dean was alive, that was what mattered. 

Then another thought popped into Castiel's head. Was the deal with the Empty still on? Now that he was human and had a soul he couldn't reside in the Empty. 

Could he finally be happy without the threat of death looming over him? First things first make it right with Dean.

Tell him everything.


	3. Almost a confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added another chapter because I'm nice ;))

Dean heard a knock on the door, too rough to be Sam's, too short to be Jack's.

"Come in Cas." Castiel entered the room gingerly.

"We need to talk." Ironically that was the line Dean used on Cas when he kicked him out.

"Sure, buddy. What's up?" He said, sitting up on the bed. Buddy, that word stung, was Dean no longer interested? 

"It's about when Jack first died." Castiel looked like he really didn't want to talk about this, but he had no choice. 

"Go on..." Dean said under his breath.

"When the Empty came for Jack it was incessant on claiming him. There was no way out...and I did what I had to do as Jack's protector."

Dean got up and make his way to Cas. "What did you do?" He questioned cautiously.

"I made a deal." Dean's face twisted to that of anger and confusion. 

"I'm sorry what?" He growled moving closer to Cas. 

Castiel backed away till he felt the wall. "I made a deal. My life for his, the catch was the Empty wanted me to suffer, it would only take me away when I was truly happy and since there was no way that was happening I took a calculated risk." 

There was a long pause and the silence was deafening.

"But now...now I am human and the Empty can no longer claim me." 

"You stupid bastard. Why did you-" Before Dean started to yell he stopped himself, took a deep breath and left the room.

"Dean!" Castiel exclaimed, but Dean just kept walking. 

Castiel sped walked after him.

"Dean stop." He commanded.

Dean stopped, swung round and pushed Castiel against the bunker wall.

"Where you ever gonna tell me? Huh?" 

"No." He bit out.

"So what we'd just wake up one day and you'd be gone?" Dean was five seconds away from loosing it he pushed his body against the ex-angel's feeling his heat through the layers of clothes. 

If they weren't fighting right now they'd be fucking because the sexual tension was enough to melt Dean's inhibitions.

Then Castiel spoke. "Dean. It's not like there was anything that was going to make me truly happy."

Dean tried not to look offended. "Fine whatever." He released Castiel.

"Dean you have to understand-" Castiel unfortunately though that was the best moment to share his feelings.

"Don't do it again." He stormed off.

He needed something to fuck, he blamed Castiel for his pent up sexual frustration. 

He'd go to a bar, a brunette would do it...a brunette with blue eyes and perfect features.

He gets into Baby and tries to calm himself down. What the fuck was wrong with Cas? Why didn't he ever learn? 

Dean hit the steering wheel as hard as he could and let out a frustrated shout. Dean immediately felt bad.

"I'm so sorry Baby." He sighed, stroking her door. 

He starts the engine and drives to the nearest bar. 

He ends up chatting to this pretty little brunette. They hit it off and the next minute he is falling into bed with her in some cheap, shitty hotel room.

All he could think about was Cas.

When she sucked marks into his skin all he wanted to feel was rough, day-old stubble scraping his neck.

When she gripped his bicep he wanted to feel large, strong hands. 

When he made her moan he wanted to hear the deep rumble of Castiel's pleasure. 

Wanted to see him fall apart under Dean's hands as his blue eyes go wide and then squeeze shut because it's too much for him.

He wants to hear Castiel desperately pant in his ear and moan his name.

"Dean..." 

Then he realized most of what was keeping keeping him hard during this encounter were thoughts of Cas. 

"I'm sorry!" He pushed back from her. "I can't go through with this."

She looked up at him, shock and disappointment written on her features. 

He sits on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry." 

She takes pity on him and nestles herself next to Dean. "What's wrong?" 

He felt embarrassed to be so emotional and weak in front of a stranger but her presence was quite soothing.

"It doesn't matter...look you're pretty, very pretty but I can't." 

"You married?" She asked matter of factly. 

He stares up at her. "Y-yeah married." He uses the out she gave him. 

She shrugs and starts to put on her clothes.

Without another word she leaves.

Dean gets back to the bunker at about 1am.  
There is Sam, waiting at the table with his arms crossed and a pissed off expression.

"And where have you been?" He questions.

"Out." 

"At this hour?" 

"Sammy, I'm a grown ass man. I can do whatever the hell I want." 

"Whoever." Sam corrects, eyeing the hickey on his neck. 

"Whatever, nothing happened." Dean declared. "Bitch." He added for good measure. 

"Cas was worried. So was I." 

Dean rolled his eyes and Cas came round the corner.

"You're back." He states.

Dean notices Castiel staring at the dark bruise located on his neck. 

"Yeah." He says pushing past him and going to his room.

Castiel wasn't born yesterday, he knows what hickeys are. That means Dean slept with someone, Dean doesn't want him anymore. 

"You alright Cas?" Sam asked.

Castiel followed suit and left the room in offended silence. 

Sam sighs and goes to bed.

Castiel goes to his room, although it doesn't look like anyone inhabits it. Castiel doesn't have many possessions, a few books given to him by Dean and the mixtape.

He kept the mixtape in a drawer, it was special to him and he didn't want it to get lost. 

He sighed and sat on his bed. 

When had his life turned into a 'chick-flick' movie? As Dean would say. 

His chest started to hurt at the mention of Dean. 

If Dean no longer wants me romantically, does he want me here at all? 

Somehow, between the bottle of whiskey and the dark 2am thoughts Castiel had decided that he was no longer wanted and would move out of the bunker. 

He stole a duffel bag and shoved all his belongings in the bag. 

He was still pretty smashed, his alcohol tolerance as a human was terrible. 

He opened the drawer next to his bed and pulled out the mixtape. 

He stared at it mournfully before putting it on the side table. 

He wanted to be gone before anyone woke up.

But all that banging into walls and falling over had woken Dean up.

He hears three knocks on his door and then the handle turning. "Cas what are you doing in there man?"

Dean stepped inside to see Castiel on the floor with a packed duffel and half a bottle of whiskey. 

"What...what the hell is this?" He demanded.

"WHat doEs it look _hic_ like Deannn?" He stumbled.

"It looks like you got pissed and are lying on the floor, what are you planning an escape?" 

"I'm leAving." 

"You're what?" 

"Leaving forever, bye bye. I know you don't want me and yOu and the uhm person can have funn." 

"The what? Cas what the hell are you talking about." 

Castiel got up and sauntered towards Dean, almost tripping over. 

He braced his hand on Dean's chest and gently stroked the purple bruise on his neck with his finger. 

He looked Dean straight in the eye. "Do you love her Dean?" 

"What? Love her? Cas I don't even know her!" 

Castiel let out a drunken sob and buried his face in Dean's neck.

"Deaan." His stubble rubbed against his neck.

Ok when Dean was thinking about Cas earlier, he didn't mean he wanted Cas in this position. 

Nonetheless the action made him shiver.

"Cas. Man just tell me what's going on." 

But Castiel had fallen asleep. On Dean. Fantastic.

Dean picks him up bridal style and puts him down on the bed. 

"Dammit Cas." He strokes the man's hair out of his eyes and thumbs his cheekbone. 

He places a gentle kiss to Castiel's forehead. 

Cas doesn't want him like that, it hurts so damn much but he has to get through the pain. 

He places some water and painkillers on the desk and leaves the room.


	4. Just call me angel of the morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter hope you enjoy! Sorry it took so long, I was struggling with what I wanted the ending to be. It will be happy because we deserve happy right now.
> 
> Soft, happy, smut. ;))

Castiel wakes up, his eyes heavy with sleep in the dark room. 

Everything seems normal...until he sat up.

His only thoughts before running to the bathroom retching in the toilet were why followed by vomit.

If he was throwing up why wasn't anything coming out? He questioned pitifully while dry-heaving.

When his body had finally stopped his hand went straight for the toothbrush and used half the tube of toothpaste to get the taste of bile out of his mouth.

After about five minutes of lying on the cold floor Dean came in.

"Morning Sunshine." He grinned knowingly.

Castiel's usual wide range of vocabulary was limited to grunts and groans.

"Mmmphf." He replied. 

"Cas, come on man you can't stay like that all day." Dean crouched down to where Castiel was splayed out on the floor like a regretful starfish. 

Dean gets Jack to come in and help him with a hungover Cas.

A short burst of Nephilim grace and Castiel is back on his feet. "Thank you Jack, I feel much better." 

When Cas looked a bit more human Dean pulled him to the side. "You wanna tell me what last night was about? Cas you hardly drink, let alone an entire bottle." 

"Dean, I don't wish to talk about this." 

"Yeah well, I do. Don't think I haven't forgotten about the packed duffle." 

Castiel gulped, he hadn't meant for Dean to see.

"You weren't meant to see." 

"What the hell is wrong with you man? You keep wanting to abandon us!" He tried to calm down for Cas' sake. It was his temper and irrational thoughts that had driven him off last time. 

"No! I don't want to abandon any of you." He exclaimed irritably.

"Then why do you keep wanting to leave?" 

"Because you're no longer interested." Castiel stated.

"What?" 

"No longer romantically interested in me, you slept with someone else." 

"Is this about when I kissed you? Look Cas I'm sorry, I wish I could take it back, honest I wish it had never happened." He explained frantically moving his arms.

"You do?" He looked surprised and hurt.

"Well...yeah."

"Oh, I see...I uh...I have to go." Then Castiel retreated to his room.

"Cas? Wait Cas!" Damnit Dean thought they really gotta stop storming out on each other.

"Dammit!" He yelled and punched the wall angrily. So Cas was mad at Dean for the kiss, he knew it. He knew it was a bad idea.

Sam came in round the corner after hearing a crack. "Dean what the fuck."

"He hates me Sammy, Cas hates me." He glared at the wall for hurting his fist. 

"What? No he doesn't man. If anything it is the opposite." 

"I kissed him...before he was human, he rejected me and now he hates me." 

"Why did he reject you?" Sam didn't even sound surprised.

"Why are you finding it hard to understand? I don't deserve him and he has finally figured it out. I told him I wish I could take the kiss back, that it never happened then he stormed off because he was reminded of it." 

"Dean you idiot! Cas has feelings for you! He didn't get mad because he doesn't want to be with you, he stormed off because you told him that you wished you had never kissed him."

"Then why did he reject me Sammy?" He pleaded, Dean just wanted answers. 

"Why don't you ask him that."

Suddenly, Dean realized what an idiot he had been, the deal, drunk Cas and now this. 

This entire thing was a big misunderstanding, Dean had never been great at emotions but it was all becoming clear.

Castiel rejected him for fear of being taken by the Empty, Dean comes home with a hickey and Cas acts weird, because he was jealous. Castiel gets drunk and believes he is no longer wanted, hence the weird drunk almost-confession. 

Dean tells him he wished they had never kissed in a last attempt to save their friendship, ultimately making it worse and Castiel storms off to sulk.

"Fuck, Sam I gotta go talk to him." Dean sped off to Cas' room.

"Finally!" Sam rolled his eyes calling after him.

Castiel felt like an awful feeling in his stomach, so Dean regretted it? 

Did Dean know about Cas' feelings? Was he trying to hurt him purposefully?

Dean doesn't even bother kocking and opens the door to find a pissed off looking Castiel with a duffle bag clutched tightly in his hands.

"I think it's best if I go Dean. Call me whenever you need help with a case."

Dean huffed. "Don't." He blocked the doorway with his body so Castiel couldn't get past. 

"Please move Dean." He asked calmly.

"No." 

"You are acting like a child, move." 

"You're not going." Dean clutched the sides of the door frame like an unwilling toddler.

"I can do whatever I want." He growled.

"Stay." 

"Give me one good reason." He felt Dean grab his face and smash their mouths together in a hot, demanding kiss.

Castiel dropped his duffel in surprise at first he moved his arms in a confused manner, his eyes wide with shock.

Then he finally settled them on Dean's biceps.

Castiel couldn't think let alone breath, he pulled back panting heavily. 

"Dean what-" He tried to start.

"I like you! In a not so platonic way." Dean rushed and Castiel choked. 

"Dean if this is some sort of ploy I will smite you even without my powers." 

"It's not, I promise...I want you, I have for a while now. Let me just explain."

Castiel waited in patient silence. 

"I thought you were mad at me for kissing you, so I stayed away, I told you I wished we had never kissed because I wanted to fix our friendship. I'm an idiot I'm sorry." 

"You are." He agreed but then he swiftly pulled Dean back to his mouth before he could say anything.

They gripped on to each other like it was the last time they'd ever touch.

"You have no idea how much I want you." He purred in Cas' ear and then nipped at the skin just below.

He slowly removed Cas' tie and flung it on the bed. Then he undid Castiel's buttons but they weren't submitting to his fingers so he just ripped open the shirt instead. 

Castiel gasped. "I liked that shirt!" He complained.

"You look better without it." He eyed Castiel's bare chest hungrily.

But he saw that indignant look in Cas' eye.

"I'll buy you a new one." He kissed him. "I'll buy you anything you want." 

Then he started backing the man towards the bed. 

"Dean." He breathed tugging at Dean's shirt. "Off." 

Dean pulled away and removed the shirt quickly. "Bossy." He grinned. 

Suddenly Cas felt Dean push him onto the bed roughly and he grunted upon impact. Dean straddled his thighs and kissed him deeply. 

"How are we doing this Cas?" He pressed soft kisses onto Castiel's chest while stroking the man's hair.

"I want all of it, I want to feel you. Make love to me Dean." He whispered sweet and low. 

Dean grinned again and kissed Castiel roughly. "Yeah?" He started to undo Castiel's belt. 

He pulled down Castiel's black trousers and tossed them to the floor. "I'm gonna take care of you Cas, make you feel so good. Do you trust me?" 

Castiel nodded. "I trust you Dean, you know I do." 

Dean picked up the tie that he has discarded on the bed. He brought Cas' hands up above his head and fastened them together with the blue tie. "Keep them above your head, don't move." He said as he took Cas' nipple in his mouth and bit lightly. 

Castiel gasped below him and thrust his hips. Dean hooks his thumbs in the waistband of Castiel's boxers and slowly brings them down.

Cas' hard arousal springs free and hits his stomach. "So beautiful." Dean whispers.

His hand hovers over Castiel's erection before finally gripping it firmly. 

He feels it pulse in his hand as he gives an experimental lick to the head and then goes straight to sucking the top of his cock and stroking the base.

Castiel let's out a pitiful whine. "What's the matter Cas? Never had your dick sucked before?" He teases. 

"Y-you know t-this Dean." Castiel could barely form a sentence and this was only the beginning. But he had obeyed Dean's instruction and kept his hands above his head, although it was getting increasingly hard. 

"You look so good like this." Dean moaned around his dick, the vibrations sent electric sparks up and down his spine.

"Dean please I need you. Now." Dean lifts off him with another teasing smile.

"So impatient." He tuts. "So desperate for me." He reaches for the tie holding Cas' hands together and makes short work of it.

"You can touch me now." Dean says as he places a gentle kiss to his jaw.

Castiel's hands immediately fly to Dean's the back of Dean's head and he pulls him into a bruising kiss. He strokes up and down, gripping the shorter parts of Dean's hair. 

Dean rids himself of his boxers and for the first time they feel skin against skin, fully. 

Both men now completely naked, writhing and rutting desperately.

They both moan as their dicks rub against each other and the pre-cum acts as a temporary lubricant.

"Cas we need-" He is cut off by a kiss. "We need-" But Castiel presses their lips together to silence him.

"Dean, don't want to stop. Dean." He holds Dean tightly. 

"Me too, just wanna keep touching you." He moaned. "We need lube. I want to be inside you." 

Castiel groaned half in resistance and half in agreement. 

Dean stopped his ministrations to reach over to his desk drawer and fumble about for lubrication. Aha! Got you.

He triumphantly pulls out a medium sized bottle of lube with a picture of a pair of full red lips on it.

He gathers a large amount on his fingers. "You ready?" He searches Cas' face for any sory of hesitation. 

There is none, as Castiel nods frevently.

Dean uses one finger to push inside his lover and he feels the muscles spasm from his touch.

"Dean." 

He opens Cas up a bit and when he is happy with his work adds a second finger.

Castiel feels a slight burn but he forgets his own name and his brain stops working as he is reduced to desprate sounds as soon as Dean's talanted fingers find his prostate. 

"Dean! Now, c-can't wait any longer." 

Dean strokes his own erection a few times and pushes the tip of his cock to Castiel's hole. It takes all of his self control not to slam into Cas, but take his time.

The stretch was not painful but it was slightly unpleasant, nothing had ever entered Cas so he was a virgin again in that respect.

"So tight...oh Cas, feel so good angel." Dean panted in his ear.

"I'm n-not an angel anymore, Dean." He frowned. 

"You are, always will be. My angel." Dean said with a possessiveness to his tone as he stroked Cas' hair and thrust in once.

They both gasped as Dean pulled out completely and then slowly inserted himself again, followed by short, sweet hip movements that made Castiel screw his eyes shut. 

Dean's movements left him breathless but it wasn't enough. "Dean f-faster." He faltered.

He cried out from the sudden change of pace and when Dean changed the angle and nailed his prostate he thought he would die.

It wouldn't be a bad way to go, killed by vigorous sex.

"Cas Cas Cas." Dean moaned his name like a mantra in Castiel's ear, pressing soft kisses to his neck and biting the skin gently. 

Castiel had one hand gripping Dean's shoulder, the other like a vice in his hair and is legs were wrapped around the hunters waist.

He pressed their foreheads together, they kept eye contact as Dean pounded into him, unrelenting.

Castiel's mouth opened to form a silent yell as he felt the pleasure build up.

"Dean! Oh Dean." He buried his face in Dean's neck again. "Ah-h I'm so close..." He moans.

Dean presses his lips to Cas' hair as he feels his orgasm approaching. "Mmph." He agrees.

Dean reaches between them and starts to jerk Castiel off, he'd always wondered what Cas' big O face looked like and he wasn't disappointed. "Come for me Cas, wanna see you." 

After a few more fast thrusts Cas seizes up and his eyes go wide, he throws his head back and moans loudly as his hips jerk wildly. "Dean! Yes yes yes!" He comes so hard it splatters on his chest and face, all over Dean's hand and even some in his dark hair, by the end of it he is shaking and whimpering.

"Jesus Cas!" He yells in surprise at the amount his friend had just come. He motions to pull out but Cas' legs trap him and force him to stay where he was.

"Inside. Come inside me." He says, barely coherent, still riding out the aftershocks.

"You sure?" But Cas was already pushing him deeper with his legs.

"Ah- Cas!" He groans, finding his pace again, he tried to avoid Cas' prostate because he can't imagine that will feel good so soon after an orgasm.

It only takes a few more seconds before Dean is coming, he yells into Cas' shoulder and shudders his way through it.

The pleasure leaves him vulnerable and during his dopamine high he says something that he didn't think he'd say to another soul. 

"Marry me."

Cas goes ridged underneath him. "What?" 

"Shit Cas I mean-" He scrabbles for an answer.

"Did you just...propose?" He questions quizzically.

"Yes."

"Did you mean it?" 

"...Yes."

Castiel frowns at him like he wants more of an explanation. 

He deserves an explanation.

"We've been friends for years so it's not like we are rushing into anything, there is nothing we don't know about each other. Personally I never thought I would settle down, this life doesn't exactly allow that, but what we just did- I guess I kinda thought...and well."

"Well?" 

"I love you." He says without hesitation.

The grin on Castiel's face was immeasurable. 

He pulled Dean into a tight hug, their chests pressed up against eachother. "Was that a yes?" He mumbled in his ear.

"Ask me again." 

Dean pulled back and looked him in the eye. 

"Cas. Castiel, do you accept me as your husband? Now and forever because there ain't no way you're getting rid of me now." 

"I do." 

Dean chuckles. "That part comes later." 

"Yes." He places a kiss to Dean's lips. 

Dean gets up and Cas whines at his absence, he comes back with a wet towl and wipes away the come on both of them.

"Shit!" He curses and Cas looks up at him. "The ring." 

He goes to his bedside table and opens the bottom drawer, he pulls out a silver ring, it was his fathers, Dean had worn it for years before taking it off and then after that he'd stopped. 

He placed it on Cas' finger. "Perfect."

They spent the rest of the night holding each other tightly.

Dean imagines how surprised Sam and Jack would be when they finally tell them.

There were many people he wanted to tell, Bobby, Charlie...Mary. 

But he would never get to, the thought of it hurt him. 

Lingering in the past does that, but for the first time in his life, thinking about the what the future had in store made him hopeful.

He snuggled closer to Castiel and difted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said I was struggling with the ending but we honestly need some cheering up, sorry if it's a bit out of character. 
> 
> Just need some fluffff


End file.
